I Was a Virgin on My Wedding Night – Sex on the wedding night :┬а Sex on the wedding night is special, but sex on the wedding night when it’s your first time is тАФ ahem тАФ a once in a lifetime experience.
“We met in high school and got married at 21 and 22 respectively тАФ very young, but we knew. Don and I were each other’s ‘first’ so it was more than a bit awkward. And we were both so nervous тАФ wanting desperately to please the other and not realty knowing how. So sex was quick, and I had a brief, ‘Is that all there is?’ feeling. But, lovemaking the next morning was slow, amazing, and all I dreamt it would be. We were so connected, and five years later it’s just gotten better.” тАФ Michelle
“Our religious beliefs were such that we felt sex before marriage was a sin. My husband and I had never even seen each other naked before our wedding night тАФ after dating for four years. We were both 26. It was extremely romantic. There were candles and flowers and satin sheets тАФ and we took our time ‘unwrapping’ each other and gloried in finally joining together fully in every way possible. I wouldn’t change a thing.” тАФ Beth
“I didn’t know I was supposed to pee after sex so we wound up going to the ER on our honeymoon for my UTI!” тАФ Sheila
“He was so nervous about pleasing me that he couldn’t get hard. I of course didn’t have a clue what to do. We both ended up apologizing to each other. That was fun тАФ not. He woke up with a morning erection, and we took advantage of it!!” тАФ Paula
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“My parents booked us an expensive hotel for our honeymoon night. My new husband carried me over the threshold of our room, and I felt like the most special, loved woman ever. We toasted each other with champagne, and I actually said the words, ‘My darling husband, please take me now.'” тАФ Anne
“My husband-to-be was sexually experienced and respected that I wanted to wait until our wedding night. But, he suggested that a way to make things less uncomfortable was to talk beforehand about our expectations and desires. I was even able to express a fantasy I had, which he made into an exquisite reality on our wedding night. But it wasn’t the mechanics that made it wonderful. It was that I was pledging forever to the person I trusted most in the world.” тАФ Sara
“We agreed to wait until we were married to have sex, but to prepare, we read sex manuals together and once even watched a porn video. It’s the first time I’ve admitted that out loud but I think it helped us feel less awkward on the actual night.” тАФ Tina
“It hurt. A lot more than I expected it to. So we didn’t actually have intercourse on our wedding тАФ but did other things that were a lot of fun. Gradually I felt more comfortable and relaxed, and two days after we got married, Sam penetrated me for the first time, and it felt wonderful. And I felt so grateful to be with a man who put my comfort and happiness above all else. Oh, and yes, I learned about lube!” тАФ Nancy
Sherry Amatenstein, LCSW is a New York City-based marriage therapist and author.